Thursday, July 19, 2012

JAA - Week 2

Week 2 of Junk-aholics Anonymous has dragged by with a wimper. I am still feeling tired and the sugar/fried food cravings have still been a major part of my life. I think I spent three solid days feeling super irritable and resentful of other members of my household who are still enjoying their treats and goodies. K. has been supportive of the idea of what I'm doing but he is not really participating himself. The girls are just being typical kids in the summer and indulging in things like ice cream treats without any guilt whatsoever. But I have been faithful much to my internal ire. At times I have wanted to scream and throw things just to let off a little steam. But I haven't. That would be bad mom behaviour. Instead I keep up the internal dialogue of why I am doing this (but I don't wanna) and how good it will be for me (no one cares so why bother). I have found out that the biggest problem of playing mind games with yourself is that you have no one else to blame when you feel miserable, lol.

On the physical front I am starting to feel a teensy bit better. Interestingly enough my skin and teeth feel a lot cleaner...I haven't had any breakouts or mouth sores. I am feeling a tiny bit firmer too..less "jiggle in the wiggle" so to speak. I have been managing cravings by eating breath mints of all things. I think it tricks my body into thinking that I have had something delicious and sugary when really all I have had is two practically zero cal mints after a meal. Eventually I am going to bring back a tiny dessert treat after dinners but not yet..I'm still too weak to limit myself properly.

I have not weighed myself during the week, nor have I measured anything. I see a lot of people embarking on new diet/fitness programs and weighing themselves daily. I think this practise is highly self-destructive because our weight naturally fluctuates on a daily basis due to things like humidity, headaches, time of the month, etc. Instead I am only weighing myself once a week so that I have something (hopefully) to look forward to. That being said, this week's tally was not very pound lost. That's measly pound. That's all I get to show for being good and ignoring all the cravings and putting up with the horrid mood swings and generally crappy feeling. Bleh. I'm not ready to give up yet but I must admit my faith is truly being tested.

In the next week I am going to try and do more things like go for a good walk every day and continue to take my vitamins regularly. I am working hard at distinguishing between real hunger and psychological hunger so that I can manage the cravings more effectively. I expect it will be difficult, though, because I am rapidly approaching that time of the month when I tend to do the most emotional binge eating. Hopefully my results will be more tangible and positive.

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